The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.