He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult