I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
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Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
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I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy