Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.