We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
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You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
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This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.