they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
