I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
