Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize