If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
