wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
be right there i have to get my cape
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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