I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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