dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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