im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I would fuck him just for his dog
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