i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
