I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
