I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
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