i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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