Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize