That's intense
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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