If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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