Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
