so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Randomize
