guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Randomize
