I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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