Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
