Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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