She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
