Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
You had me at "let me see your balls"
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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