i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
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