So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
