so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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