Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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