Ambien. No doubt about it.
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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