He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize
