Small penises have feelings too.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
soo... how was my night?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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