You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
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