We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
