Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
tell me about the eggs
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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