It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
