Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
