I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
