I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
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It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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