There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
