i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
