at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
