What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
