Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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