Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
