So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
