He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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