Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
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