people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
