god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Randomize
