Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
