did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
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