put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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