It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
