Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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