Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
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