I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
