I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
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I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
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But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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