I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I just forgot I was standing up.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
