Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
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You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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