My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Drunk is not a location!
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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