so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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