Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Alive.
So much puke
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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