So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
